Dan "Pismobum" Ainsworth was a true foamer in the very best sense of the word, a great joy to fan with, he was simply one hell of a lot of fun. This really cuts close to the bone, I'd be hard pressed to think of someone else it would be wiser to be in a trench with, or someone who has made me laugh harder, truly someone Hemingway would look to as a source of gusto. He was the kind of guy that it would never be a good time to lose. How few people you can say that about. Best regards unto eternity, Dan, you were something else. Should have paid more attention to e-mail or I would have fowarded this earlier:

February 23, 1942 – March 02, 2012
Dan Stephen Ainsworth suffered a brain aneurism on leap year – Wednesday, February 29, 2012, just six days after joyously celebrating his 70th birthday with his family. Dan’s sister Diane rushed him immediately to Arroyo Grande hospital, affording his family precious time to talk with him bedside before he quickly drifted into a coma.

Doctors advised that his condition was untreatable and that he would survive no more than a few hours at most. They obviously did not know Dan – they did not know that he does EVERYTHING by his own scheduling. Just take a look at Dan’s regimented SLO men’s baseball organization, the efficiency for which we believe was modeled after Mussolini’s famed rail system.

And if able, Dan surely would have been there for Mussolini’s scheduling needs too. Dan not only loved organizing – he loved trains. Born February 23, 1942 in Los Angeles, Dan lived his adolescent years kicking rocks alongside the most dangerous stretch of the original Vegas highway – Route 66, between Barstow and Victorville. It was then that Dan became fascinated with trains, marveling at the sudden transition from steam engines to the new diesel-electrics running the high desert rails. Being the numbers geek that he was, Dan first began to track and compare rail car capacities just for the hobby of managing information. Dan joined almost every national train and rail-fan organization, scheduling and managing information for all of those groups as well. Dan laughingly fancied himself a railroad tycoon when, for his 40th birthday, his sister Diane gave him a single share of Union Pacific Railroad stock – a certificate which he framed and displayed with pride. After circling all of North America by rail several times, Dan spent his pre-retirement years taking extended trips on Europe’s rail system – just because. Retiring at age 55 and moving to his hilltop home overlooking the Pismo Beach pier, Dan spent the late 90’s arm-chair critiquing the inefficiency of Amtrak’s national routing and scheduling system, charting in detail on his notepads in pencil for his own amusement the many ways that Amtrak could “better” provide its passenger rail services. And while operation of restored steam engines is now a rarity, there was a resurgence of enthusiasts restoring and operating steam engines in the 1980’s and 90’s for clubs and paying passengers, and Dan was always front-and-center, both riding and “chasing” the steam engines around the countryside for days on end. After moving in 1997 to Pismo from his long-time Orange County home on the Mission Viejo Lake, Dan volunteered at the San Luis Obispo train station’s public information booth, meeting regularly with the other local rail-fan geeks just to “talk trains.”

Once retired, Dan created a DOMECAR web site to inventory and track from construction to destruction – or to its current place of operation, data for each and every passenger rail dome car ever manufactured, with a catalogue of every existing photo for each car, specifications, ownership and operational history, etc. Try to navigate his site just for its novelty: [www.trainweb.org]

Dan created his DOMECAR web site by writing his own computer code, painstakingly developed – believe it or not, entirely through Web-TV. Dan so abhorred the idea of using a PC for fear of getting a virus, that he did not own or even use a PC – let alone learn to use a mouse, until his daughter-in-law Dana bought him a computer in 2010 and forced him to learn it because she for years inconveniently had to complete all of his on-line interactive work, and translate and print every web page, e-mail and pdf forwarded from his only e-mail and internet access: pismobum@webtv.net.

Dan graduated from Newport Harbor High in 1959 and, after a brief 2 year stint in the Coast Guard – which to him was an organization “uselessly disciplined and as inefficiently organized as the rest of government,” then obtained an AA accounting degree from Orange Coast Community College. Dan went to work for Univac Corporation writing code for computers that were larger than the train cars he tracked.

In 1965 Univac sent Dan – then age 23, to install a new computer system for Simplot SoilBuilders in Bakersfield. Dan left his Newport Beach home in his convertible E-Type Jaguar, and was met in Bakersfield by Simplot’s office manager Carolyn. After two days Dan convinced Carolyn to let him take her then-17 year old high school senior daughter Frances on a date. One week after her 18th birthday in November 1966, Dan and Francie married. Four years later their son Craig was born at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach.

Dan continued with other employers and then on his own, programming mainframe computers for large data processing companies, including managing some of Disney’s computer and information systems until being entirely displaced by in-house network PC’s in the 90’s. Dan always said confidently that he knew he was successful in life because he did not need to set an alarm clock to go to work, bragging that he loved his work and anxiously awoke each day to face his new challenges.

Plainly stated: Dan loved organizing. Dan first signed Craig up for Indian Guides at age 5 and – known as Thunder-Pebble, not only served as Chief of Craig’s – or Thunder Rock’s Chippewa Tribe, he immediately became Chief of the entire Southern California Broken Lance Nation, organizing all Nation and all Tribe events for the next four years. And while Francie served as assistant coach and team-mom for all of Craig’s youth sports, Dan served without fail as league president and head administrator each and every year.

When Craig started playing men’s baseball in San Luis Obispo in 2001, Dan spectated and – in true “Dan” form just as with his Amtrak scheduling beforehand, began arm-chair critiquing how the baseball league could be “better” organized and scheduled. Indeed, some years after taking over the league administration, Dan was teased as being Abner Doubleday reincarnated for testing his theory in actual games of using a 6-out inning – clearing the baserunners after 3-outs but leaving the defense in the field and leaving the offense at-bat for another 3-outs to save between-inning transition and pitcher warm-up time, just to see if it would be more “efficient.”

When Dan took over the league administration, there was a single three month summer league only. Dan brought year-around baseball to SLO, creating a spring season, hosting Labor Day “Woody” tournaments, and having open non-league Sunday pick-up games for whenever he could “herd enough cats” to suit up.

Many people have marveled at Dan’s apparent love for baseball after seeing his incalculable devotion of time and energy to year-round scheduling and organization. But truth-be-told, it was not baseball that fueled him. If Dan had only a daughter, it is certain that he would have instead organized in retirement his adult-daughter’s resurgence in some league newly-created and run by him for adult and senior women’s cheerleading, tennis, or other such activity. Dan just loved to organize - period.

And just as with his DOMECAR website, Dan continued to write code through his Web TV to create his baseball scheduling and statistics web site – again just because he loved managing information. As any player can truthfully attest, Dan charted and recorded each player’s every at-bat at every single game, every single season, each and every year, without fail – keeping the books and never missing a pitch, ever. [community-2.webtv.net]

Dan was not athletic – he never played a sport in his life: he never shot a basket; never hit or threw a ball; never ran, jumped or swam. So it is ironic that Men’s baseball became Dan’s life. But it was not for the love of the game. While it started as a mere love for organizing, it became for him truly a love for the players who he considered his friends. Because Dan had an awkward social way about him and was terribly unspoken on personal matters, his players will never know or understand how much he appreciated them,… how much they fulfilled and enriched his life.

Dan was – by his own admission, a loner. He never had traditional friends or relationships. Instead, his organization was his social outlet. And in retirement, baseball gave him an abundance of friends, companionship, socialization, and purpose in helping others, which he otherwise was incapable of developing in ordinary social circles. To all those who laughingly, and sometimes begrudgingly put up with Dan’s persistence, please know that you gave him true joy and happiness and purpose in life. He lived for his relationships with all of you as much as anything – truly.

He asked nothing of others. He was a completely self-reliant man of amazingly quiet integrity. He had no religious affiliation or dogma; he did not choose to do right because of any jeopardy in doing wrong. Instead, he just did what was right – always. He always paid his debts – even if no demand was made; he always obeyed the rules – even if there was no penalty for breaking them; he always was faithful to others – even if no person would learn otherwise. He asked for no recognition or reward. Whatever it was, he just did it the right way - always.

By his own scheduling, Dan died peacefully at 1:07 a.m. March 02, 2012.

Dan is survived by his loving wife of 46 years Francie; his sister Diane, sister Sandra and husband Jeff; his niece Cyndee “Cinderella” and her sons Gavin and Garet; his son Craig and daughter-in-law Dana, and granddaughter Alexis; and his beloved office-managing mother-in-law Carolyn – all of San Luis Obispo County; he is survived by his mother Margaret of Wrightwood, California; and he is survived by many hundreds of men who, although talking only baseball – he richly considered to be his friends.

An open gathering for all to remember and celebrate life will be held at 1:00 p.m. at the baseball stadium at Sinsheimer Park in San Luis Obispo, true-to-form, on Sunday April 01, 2012 – April Fools Day. Dan would want it no other way.