A primary feature of modern society is that different people and communities interact and impact eachother in one way or another all the time -- that's life. Sometimes it's negative, sometimes it's positive, sometimes it just "is".
Listen, I'm not saying that the North Coast communities, and the North Bay counties are saintly themselves -- but Marin needs to learn to accomodate its neighbors' needs eventually.
The point is that Marin can continue to stall on issues like SMART and real mass transit in the North Bay, but eventually, Sonoma will grow large enough to force it's own initiatives on Marinites, whether they like it or not. Compromise now, or get stomped on later. When they realize that, then they'll actually be "looking out for themselves".