Greetings!

We, the glorious citizens of the People's Republic of China, will use some of the wealth that has been created by your steady and loyal consumption of our consumer goods readily available at your neighborhood Wal-Mart toward the purchase and continued operation of the paper mill in Snowflake. You see, as our population continues to lift itself into a higher standard-of-living, we are using more and more toilet paper. The mill at Snowflake will fit nicely into our plans. Perhaps we can negotiate an agreement with Henry Posner and Iowa Interstate so that some of our glorious steam locomotives that they purchased can run as a double-header with the Alcos that you Americans cherish so much. So sorry that your company Alco is no longer in business. You will find that our products of the Datong Locomotives Shops are vastly superior.

This is a glorious day for China and Arizona. Pardon me, now, while I continue censor the Internet and stifle dissent in my country . . . and remember . . . the junk you buy at Wal-Mart indirectly helps to keep your Alcos running!