> A colleague and I used to debate the proper plural of one of our bosses favorite words "dufus", was it dufus's, or maybe "dufi" (like when you're dealing with a herd of "dufi"), turns out that it's doofuses.... All of these rools are arbitrary conventions, of from the early 19th century, by idealist's who were trying to standardize the "anglish" language, to impose "proper" Victorian English, which we hadn't needed for the previous 600 years since Chaucer didst write.

Just for S&Gs, I looked up "doofus" in several (Merriam Webster) dictionaries dating between 1920 and 1970, and it doesn't appear. However, they give "doof" is a variant of "dowf", which comes from an Icelandic word meaning "deaf". The on-line Merriam links "doofus" with the Scots word "doof", meaning "dolt" and also says it entered English around 1960. The plural is given as either "doofuses" or "dufuses".

Today, we speak more a variety of Shakespearian English than Chaucerian. From Chaucer's Canterbury Tales:

"Here bygynneth the Book of the tales of Caunterbury

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licóur "

"Tales" is pronounced "TAL-ess"; the final e on Avrille is stressed: "AH-vrill-uh", also see: [www.youtube.com] . It's called Middle English, and it t sounds like an almost recognizable foreign language. He wrote the Tales around 1400 (A.D.).

Shakespeare wrote his plays during the last quarter of the 1500s to early 1600s, and we can still readily understand them, which can't be said about Chaucer. Language changes very rapidly, as aptly demonstrated between Chaucerian English and Shakespearian English, which are separated by about 200 years. Between Shakespear and us today lie more than 400 years, and the reason we can readily understand Shakepeare is because what is recognized as the first English dictionary was written by Robert Cawdrey in 1604. The appearance of dictionaries don't stop linguistic change, but they do slow it down appreciably.

Not quibbling about your discourse on the vagaries of English plurals, which can be quite bizarre at times, but "beanery's" is possessive, not plural: "The beanery's menu is written on the black board." However, many have posted here about a whole variety of beaneries. Three-FInger Jack would be proud (after he scooped the eggs off the floor and threw them at a customer). Ahh the Nook, just up E Lake from the Resetar. Then there's the Plate of Plenty at Zell's . . . can't recall the name of the greasy spoons in Tracy or KFalls.

Only the Brits: [www.apostrophe.org.uk] .

>Declension. It's a noun. Nouns are declined. Verbs are conjugated.

Thank you.

>"I'm sorry for those in the know, but Americans don't learn their own language. We are going to have a week of English grammar."

G.B. Shaw said the same thing in Pygmnalion (My Fair Lady); Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lighting; Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening. But use proper English and you're regarded a a freak". And he was talking about them Brits.

"We are divided by a common language", variously attributed to Shaw and Churchill.